We decided to splurge and go out to eat tonight for the first time in about 2 months. By splurge, though, I just mean financially – Nate and I both stayed on track nutritionally. We went to Chili’s, and we both had fajitas without the tortillas. I thought about having just one tortilla, but I decided against it. I knew I didn’t really need it, and I knew that all the onions probably had me up against my daily carb limit, so I chose to skip it, even if it would’ve been a pretty small splurge.
But the REAL victory came when I saw the dessert menu. I’ve always loved their molten chocolate cake as it is, and I began drooling almost instantly tonight when I saw that they’ve introduced a version with a peanut butter filling. If you know me, you know that peanut butter and chocolate is crack to me; I absolutely adore it. So if you take one of my favorite chocolate-y desserts and add PB to it, I’m pretty much in heaven.
Except, of course, that I couldn’t have one, which made it more like hell…
I sat at the table absolutely lusting after it. I hadn’t intended to splurge tonight, and even if I had, I’ve made a rule for myself that I will have NO sugar this year. I know how addicted I am to sugar, and I think it’s one of those things where I can’t even open the door a crack or I’m going to fall completely off the wagon. But this dessert – it was beckoning to me. I actually covered the picture up when I was looking at that page of the menu to try to resist its siren call. But I kept trying to come up with ways to rationalize it.
When I was just about to my breaking my point, I suddenly said to myself, “It’s just one year.” And with that one sentence, I was totally fine. Which is awesome, because that’s exactly why I chose to do it this way. So that when temptation got too strong, I could remind myself that it’s just one year. Not that I expect to go back to my old eating patterns again next year, but I hope by then I’ll be in a much better place and can allow myself the occasional splurge. So I know that, in a year, if I’m still really dying for this, I can give it a try.
It’s not forever – it’s just one year. And I can totally do that.